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Pages: Ok, kinksters and kinketts.... [1]
Author Topic: Ok, kinksters and kinketts....

Posts: 1

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2011-02-08 17-40-57

Ok, kinksters and kinketts.... for more than a year, my hubby and I have talked about a threesome. A MFM is appealing to both of us, so we started looking for a likely candidate. At first, we couldn't find someone we both liked; we got a little bored with it and quit looking. Recently, I brought the subject up again and we decided to try again. Long story, short--Saturday we had lunch with a guy, we both liked him, he liked us; everything seems great. But hubby doesn't want to play... Is the reality sometimes more than a person can handle? Like maybe he enjoys the fantasy but can't act on it? I have tried not to push, to be reassuring etc. It's like he wants to do it but gets cold feet. Anyone?
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2011-02-10 2-40-47-

hi Andarta reality sucks how are you sorry to hear your having trouble
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2011-02-11 17-21-00

Of course reality can be more than some people can handle. Fantasy is sooooo bonding, but, whether it's a security issue, a health issue, a trust issue - something is keeping him from bringing it into reality. Maybe the fantasy is enough for him. It's something, as you know, that you can't push someone else into.
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  • Arsavir

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    2011-02-13 2-30-27-

    Hey before when you two brought it up was it always or most of the time during sex?
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    Posts: 4

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    2011-02-13 7-46-02-

    That seems to be when he talks the most about it. But we've talked about it at other times also.
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  • moskowitz

    Posts: 3

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    2011-02-27 2-53-40-

    acting on a fantasy is harder than having it he may feel self conscious about having another man around.
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  • blodgett

    Posts: 48

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    2011-03-29 14-07-59

    yes...NEVER push someone when they arent ready or can't handle the reality of it...:)
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  • isenhower

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    2011-04-03 0-55-32-

    well said Enigma
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  • sayre

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    2011-06-08 16-53-15

    I speak from personal experience
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  • pearl

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    2011-07-24 8-11-14-

    It's a scary thing to share the one you love, and not all people can do it. I hope you can talk this through and work things out for a happy ending for all my dear!
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  • Celestyna

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    2011-09-02 5-20-30-

    I think so my Festerz and I toyed with the MfM idea and he was all a go on it, then when I finally got a candidate, he was like not in my bed... I think ot may be the whole crossing the streams thing, but I assured both thats its purely NO HOMO. Morning all.
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    Posts: 9

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    2011-09-25 11-37-27

    We have the same issue.... the fantasy is soooo hot for us both and we both really want it. But when it gets right down to it and the reality is staring you in the face....thats a different story. Be patient with him Good luck hun.
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    Posts: 8

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    2011-11-20 19-51-06

    hey girly what is up with your email? :-(
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  • schuchart

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    Posts: 5

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    2011-11-21 8-20-19-

    Did you notice my new handle? its a long crappy story. Someone hacked my password...yadayadayada... Anyway...there is an anon email in my profile :)
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 28

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    2012-01-02 13-39-11

    only because I am paranoid When i send you an email will you reply with something only you would say or reference? :-)
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    2012-01-10 15-54-43

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  • geck

    Posts: 17

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    2012-03-18 3-28-28-

    ok, so what explanation is hubby giving you for not wanting to play? You went as far as to meet this guy with putting a MFM on the table?
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  • vitullo

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    Posts: 42

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    2012-05-10 15-20-14

    Yes, the purpose of the meeting was to see if we all 'clicked'. Hubby said 'he just didn't feel like it' on Saturday evening. Btw Brut, you're killing me with those pics ;-) don't stop!!
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    Posts: 34

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    2012-08-16 6-15-01-

    There's obviously more to it then him saying "I just don't feel like it"... the question is what and why. Sounds like you guys just need a little more time in figuring out if this what you both really want. Is he saying he wants to do it 'for you' because YOU want it, or no? Is this a MFM where the guys play with each other too, or are you the focal point? oh, and thank you btw for the nice comments... I'm glad you like em' *smiles*
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  • janeangela

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    Posts: 44

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    2012-10-30 0-34-42-

    You are probably correct, Brut. His wanting to please me is probably a big motivator. I know the best thing is to just chill and let him know I love him and I'm not going anywhere. The flip side is that frustration that we got so close!!! Perhaps, we should be looking for a woman. It's true though that women are much harder to find. And hubby and I aren't young and beautiful anymore (I know, but it's true). Just finding the right person is difficult in itself!
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  • carry

    Posts: 21

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    2012-12-17 6-49-14-

    I'm in a similar boat... the thought of being in a MMF is very intriguing to me... I'm just not so sure how I would react if the opportunity presented itself you know? Maybe in his head he thought if said he would do it, that it would never REALLY happen... you know what I mean? Another thought is that he might be a little uncertain in regard to 'performance anxiety' so to speak... Food for thought anyway.
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    2013-01-24 13-37-17

    That might be an excellent idea--thanks.
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 31

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    2013-02-28 5-13-01-

    I think thats the way to go
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  • bezner

    Posts: 31

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    2013-03-29 6-55-11-

    in the same boat, but MFF instead my gal talks about it but said she is most afraid of another woman trying to steal her man. I told her I'm not going anywhere because noelse I've been with talks kink and follows thru like she does. So I haven't persued it. I've only done MFM once years ago with some good friends that I trusted. It was totally cool but we were young, I was really nervous and came too soon.:-P We are dealing with her insecurity first. And I've told her that sometimes the fantasy is better than the actuality of it all.
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    Posts: 66

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    2013-05-12 23-40-51

    LOL steal her man... but I feel bad for her too if she feels that way. It has been harder to find a F that I like to throw into the mix than another man. Women can be so ick sometimes...
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  • carilla

    Posts: 38

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    2013-09-01 22-46-21

    i think that's her point.... finding the right F. I think she has an expectation that the F has to be a model or something....not looking for that I tell her. I need a F that's into it as much as we are. Matter of fact I wouldn't mind if it's a DOM F and she and the DOM can have their way with me, ass and all! *giggles*
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  • pottle

    Posts: 44

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    2013-10-01 12-12-00

    Have you spoken to your husband about it? It could be a vaiety of things but only he knows in his heart what the real problem is. Talk to him, find out why and see if there is anything you can do to make this happen. Who initially brought up this idea? Was it you and now he feels pressured to do it? Do you keep brining it up? Is this something more that you or he wants to do? For some the fantasy is as far as they will take it...
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  • ringer

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    Posts: 40

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    2013-10-26 19-06-15

    I am not sure now but it probably was me who first talked about it. I know I just need to relax and if it never happens--then, oh well.
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    Posts: 19

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    2013-11-18 1-11-30-

    I honestly think that a good way to get the ball rolling would be to have this person first become a trusted friend; hang out regularly, go places, play cards, whatever it takes to really start up a long term friendship because a lot of the issues may be trust based insecurities.
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