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Pages: need advice bad and hurry please! [1]
Author Topic: Need advice bad and hurry please!
markowski

Sexy
Posts: 2

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2011-02-08 20-19-35

need advice bad and hurry please! i'm madly and deeply in love with a beautiful passoniate woman. we both are middle aged and married to men. i just want to be with her all the time and want to take care of her. she is a caring individual and has had past relationships with other women. she keeps in touch with these others and she had told me about the phone conversations, i got jealous of of the times. this upset her and now she doesn't think we are going to work out. i'm completely crushed. i let her know that at anytime i'm ready to give it all up for her. told her i love her. take care of any and all physicial needs she has. given her a ring, sent flowers, romantic text (maybe too many of these). ready and willing to meet up with her anytime of day and night. what am i doing wrong? i try to treat her like i want to be treated. i have asked what she wants and i don't get an answer.
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octavia

Newbie
Posts: 1

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2011-02-10 7-35-52-

*sigh* She's married and so are you. What did you expect? You were fooling around on the side, and now you want it to be more. Sorry, but it looks like you'll have to look elsewhere for the love of your life as this woman was happy with the status quo. Also, maybe you should divorce your husband so that he, too, can have a chance at real love?
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lurvey

Newbie
Posts: 1

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2011-02-11 21-37-14

ouch! i deserved that, ouch. been told she stays married for financial reasons. my husband and i stay together because of our girls. we had a falling out not too long ago, nothing to do with any of this. i didn't mean to fall in love, it just happened. i never cheated on my husband until now.
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  • lealie

    Hero Member
    Posts: 13

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    2011-02-13 4-25-37-

    god it would be so nice to be able to marry someone for financial reasons... oh wait. i can't. i'm GAY. buzz off please.
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    javier

    Member
    Posts: 17

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    2011-02-24 0-43-29-

    Cheating is wrong. Period.
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    foster

    Newbie
    Posts: 1

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    2011-03-02 8-53-42-

    doormat you sound needy, which is a turnoff.
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  • yasmine

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 15

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    2011-03-03 10-19-15

    true this is probably true. how do i keep from being so needy?
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    szwed

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 14

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    2011-04-09 18-42-13

    Let me be the first to say it-- therapy!!!! Place yourself in the hands of a professional rather than accepting advice from a bunch of semi-hostile strangers on an internet forum.
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    medaris

    User
    Posts: 14

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    2011-04-18 11-44-12

    you sound need lol.
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    crowell

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 17

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    2011-06-17 4-51-48-

    If she's not interested anymore, there's really nothing you can do to change her feelings for her. It sounds like she's made her decision. If you don't respect that decision, and her feelings, deluging her with "romantic" gestures will only make it worse. A ring, for example, seems a bit extreme. I'm not exactly a professional, but from what little you've written here, there are serious boundary issues. And, obviously, serious issues with your marriage. This is of those cases in which some kind of therapy is obviously indicated. Also, relationships that begin with cheating don't usually make it (usually.) Because no trusts cheaters, even ones who are "madly and deeply in love." Being in love doesn't excuse unethical behavior.
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    mcclish

    Member
    Posts: 17

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    2011-07-07 17-40-13

    ok ok ok ok ok ......... ok people i don't want your sympathy, just needed some advice. didn't want to go into this whole story but maybe it would help.... been married x years nite my hubby comes home tells me he's gay but still wants me. he gets all stupid and tells me he found some then proceeds to tell me he is also addicted to internet porn. we try to work thru things, it didn't work. i ended up kicking him out. then in a round about way through all this i found my true self. meet this angel fell in love like never before in my life. and i don't want to lose her but don't want to be used by her either. i'm in therapy but had to cancel my session today because no money. hubby is in therapy also. we are a screwed up pair.
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  • hari

    Full Member
    Posts: 10

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    2011-07-10 21-04-40

    thank you just don't know how much longer i have here on this earth. also have medical issues been dealing with since x. cancer amoung them and recently probably due to stress they have been acting up. just wanted to be enough for someone, someone to love me for me.
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  • arvizu

    User
    Posts: 16

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    2011-08-20 15-10-17

    Can I be blunt? What are you doing still in that marriage? What are your girls learning from you? How to give up all personal power and be helpless? Life is short. You say yours may be especially short. So how do you want your days to go? I'm sorry you're unhappy. I'm not sure what magic you want to hear from people here. You already know what to do.
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  • cheslock

    Newbie
    Posts: 37

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    2011-10-03 11-33-00

    your right your right, just don't have the courage. afraid of being completely al my and somewhat of a husband is all i have. i was hoping my angel could love me the way i do her and everything could work out the way it needs to be. we have no other family here and it's been hard to make any kind of friends.
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  • xylia

    Sexy
    Posts: 20

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    2011-11-10 7-58-18-

    i hope you can appreciate that many of the women in this forum have been in similar places to where you are and have taken the courage to step beyond a mockery of a happy married life and live their lives honestly. i hope you can appreciate that your expectancy of us to accept your lack of courage in taking this step can be insulting.
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    dakin

    Member
    Posts: 22

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    2011-12-29 9-25-27-

    i am sorry i am sorry, didn't mean to offend any through this df is the most even if it's been little harsh the most support i've had in months.
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    hibberd

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 5

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    2012-03-04 12-07-17

    Perhaps, there are local resources for you to tap that can help you through this coming out / getting divorced / we're both queer process. You're certainly not the first big ol' queers to partner up in hetero-style. Perhaps you can start by ing PFLAG in Texas?
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    hofland

    Full Member
    Posts: 23

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    2012-05-10 6-41-55-

    Lots of resources in H-town There is a Houston chapter of PFLAG. It met downtown years and years ago. Don't know if it's still there or if it's moved by now. Montrose has gotten pretty gentrified, but if you poke around you'll still find the last stragglers of the gay community around there. Chances is still around as far as I know, and so is Lobo bookstore. The Barn closed, but I've heard there's a New Barn. And some of the gay scene has started migrating over to the Heights, so look around there, too.
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    haftan

    Newbie
    Posts: 37

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    2012-08-19 18-50-18

    Thanks Ax! I suspect Pinkie flew the coop. I hope she checks back for this useful information.
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    goldwin

    Full Member
    Posts: 38

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    2012-10-31 9-21-40-

    thank you all thanks for all the resource information. we live way on the outskirts of H town. ended up going to the doctor. then dealing with my oldest daughter,of her friends was killed over the weekend.
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  • ruthven

    User
    Posts: 27

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    2012-12-18 18-12-53

    Definitely go to the bookstore if nothing else I can't remember what they were all ed, but when I still lived in Houston, they had at least x or x different gay papers. They're a good resource to pick up because they'll have announcements for all sorts of events and groups and other places to go. My knowledge of the scene down there is a little out of date, so definitely grab some of the papers.
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