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Pages: 3 solid weeks of houseguests [1]
Author Topic: 3 solid weeks of houseguests

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2011-02-08 19-06-46

3 solid weeks of houseguests Advice: I'm a little bit over-houseguested at the moment. Nobody's fault, just everyone likes to visit my city in the summer. Three different sets of folks. The current HG is an old friend of my GF, and her ten year old kid. Nice people, kid very fun , gets along well with mine. Here's the thing. The friend is a very chatty lady. Horrible things have happened to her in her life, and she's processing them all, all the time. Also horrible things have happened all over the world and she seems to know about all of them. I find myself up until eleven at night (my girlfriend works late, so I am entertaining the houseguests after I get home from work). I find myself in long discussions with her about disaster after disaster after serial murder, after dismemberment. How does she know all this stuff and would it be polite of me to say what I'm thinking which is: You've got to not dwell on this all the time. You've got to step away from the news every so often, for your sake and for the sake of everyone around you. And I wonder, where does she get this info? Is there a gruesome news channel somewhere I've never heard of?
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2011-02-11 0-04-29-

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2011-02-11 18-04-59

esplanashun: OP asked: Is there a gruesome news channel somewhere I've never heard of? And I am answering: Yes, CourtTV - watch Forensic Files, FBI Files, New Detectives etc. Quite fascinating and gruesome.
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2011-02-12 20-27-22

movies. good idea. preferably not gruesome.
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2011-02-13 2-57-53-

I think you can gracefully ask her to stop. Just tell her the truth, gently - that it upsets you to hear a litany of woe. I think it's fair to tell her to step away from the bad news, and to not to dwell on it - and also that YOU need to not dwell on it. She may just not have very good boundaries.
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2011-02-13 4-32-03-

she may not realize that she's so negative so it may come as a shock to her ~ be prepared if/when you let her know it's draining for you. I'm trying to think of an effective way to tell her so she doesn't get defensive. I tend to let people know by saying things like "omg, I have to change the subject. I just can't hear anymore about the horrible things I know are going on". Then, if that person is so unaware or unwilling to get out of that mindset I usually limit how much time I spend with them. Kinda difficult when they are your guests. If I'm stuck with a person like that I take every opportunity to change the subject. It's exhausting either way ~ listening or working to change the subject. Ask her about her ... pick up on details and ask more. Hopefully, she can be positive about her .
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2015-06-27 20-22-33

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2015-12-04 1-46-51-

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